Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know by Barbara De Angelis

Author:Barbara De Angelis [Angelis, Barbara De]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780007372690
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 1996-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Choosing What You Think

Imagine a restaurant where customers weren’t allowed to order their own food and you had to eat whatever the waiter brought you, regardless of whether you liked it or not. And not only that, you had to keep eating as long as food was placed before you even when you weren’t hungry anymore. How often do you think you’d go to this place? Probably never! Why? Because you want to choose what you eat.

Well, this is the way it is with our minds. Your mind starts thinking on a certain track and you just go along with it in whatever direction it wants to take you, “eating” whatever thoughts it puts in front of you, regardless of whether you like it or not.

You know how this works, because it happens to you dozens of times a day. You are feeling fine, taking a walk or making dinner or driving somewhere, and suddenly, your mind starts: “You know, your husband was awfully quiet this morning at breakfast. Maybe something is wrong. After all, it has been three weeks since you’ve made love. I wonder if he’s feeling turned off to you lately. Remember last week when you noticed him staring at that woman at the party? Maybe he’s interested in someone else.”

Suddenly, you are anxious and worried, and instead of enjoying your walk or drive, you’re worrying about your relationship, which you know deep inside is fine. It’s as if your mind offered you a plate of food labeled: PARANOID THOUGHTS ABOUT GETTING REJECTED BY SOMEONE YOU LOVE, and you reached for it saying, “Mmmmmmm, yum yum, just what I wanted to eat right about now.”

Where did that thought come from? It came from the kitchen of your mind, always cooking up ways to try and deal with its leftover emotions. This is the way we get yanked around by our thoughts all the time, pushed into places we don’t want to go and pulled off track from where we do want to go. Why particular thoughts and feelings arise is a question that I’ve answered in other books, but here the issue is what you’re going to do about it.

One of the most important changes you can make in your life is to begin choosing what you think about, rather than allowing your mind to determine what you think about.

Choose your thoughts instead of letting your thoughts choose you.

Every day of your life, you make hundreds of choices. When you get dressed in the morning, you look carefully at your wardrobe and choose what you would like to wear—you don’t just bump into a hanger and decide that’s your outfit. When you go to the supermarket, you look carefully at the items on the shelves and choose what you need—you don’t buy everything you see. In this same way, you don’t have to buy into every thought your mind presents to you. You can choose to go in the direction thoughts take you, or you can choose to say, “No thank you, I’m not interested in going there right now.

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